I was a Rhodes scholar, when I was eight my mother told me to hit the roads, the ones with traffic on them. I began as a humorist at the ripe old age of twelve. I wrote, recorded, and produced a play for cassette at the age of thirteen and called it, “Reality in the Mind of an Idiot,” over tracking on two tape recorders acting all the voices myself. I wrote three radio spots for a local New Jersey Radio station when I was fourteen which aired for two years. I started doing stand-up at the age of fifteen which landed me a roll on a local UHF television show called, The Uncle Floyd Show.” I have punched up many comedians routines back in the day; my nickname was punchy, now it is just Jerk, or Hey you.
These days, I write for many publications and have twelve published books out there somewhere. I blog for fun and I write because I love doing it. I have a few very old routines on YouTube. One character of mine, ‘Finga’s, my right hand man,” can be seen on a cold medicine commercial. I wrote for many New York radio shows a while back but decided to concentrate on my writing these days. Once in a great while, when asked I will punch up some of my friend’s comedy routines but my books come first. The blog you are about to read, is my take on life. Some things are funny, some aren’t. It depends on the mood I am in. My books vary. Sometimes I write comedy, sometimes, I write thrillers, but whatever I am working on, I hope it makes you think. They say, you come into this world alone and naked and you die alone and naked. Hey, I just like saying naked. My wish in life is to take my small cult following and create something people can remember.
Back in the day I was known as DiCat. I aways wondered if their was anyone out there with the nickname, Nick? “There he goes, trying to be funny again.” Look, I am not a fragile man. If you think I am silly, stupid, or nuts, let me know, I wont be crushed. I am psychic but never display those thoughts very much. I quit trying to make believers out of people years ago and keep that part of my life private for the most part. I think it was in 1975 when a friend of mine argued with me that there were no such thing as psychic’s. I turned to him and asked him to answer the door. He told me no one rang the bell but a few seconds later, low and behold someone we hadn’t seen in a few years was standing there and his jaw droped. He never doubted me after that.
My favorite book I have written is “Growing Up Goomba.” It is fiction and non fiction. I tell my tale about where and how I grew up in Newark, New Jersey while mafia thugs teach you how to be just like them and live the life. We take turns telling our stories. I had a guy, I think he was on the Sopranos, Steve Schirripa who had written a book a few years after I wrote Goomba, he told me I stole the word Goomba from him. We had a fued for a while but I shut him up after I told him my age. I have been using words like Goomba a lot longer then he had. I also had a scuffle with the Gotti’s “Growing Up Gotti” until they realized that my book title was out long before their television show. By the way, goomba or Goombada really means, Godfather in Italian, and Goomada is Godmother but American/Italian slang would change it to someone close to you, like a good friend, someone who has your back no matter what.” Hey Goombahda.” The Godfather walks up to one of his capo’s and kisses him on the mouth. The Capo leaves the party afraid and shaking. Everyday he checks under the hood of his car, looks over his shoulder, and is afraid for his life knowing very well when the Godfather kisses someone on the mouth it is the kiss of death. The next week the Godfather walks up to his capo again and notices he is a shaken man. ‘My son, why do you fear me so?” the Godfather asks. The guy explains to him. The Godfather said, “Ha ha, look, Charlie, I don’t want to kill you, I want to bang you. I explain to people when they ask if I ran down south after 911. I tell them I am witness protected. I was relocated to South Carolina. I don’t really care who knows where I am for one simple reason, I fear no man, women yes but men no.
For those who think my spelling sucks, well, I work alone, I edit myself, I am dyslexic so I do the best I can with the tools I was handed from God. I am hated by most publishers because of some trouble I got into which will remain my trouble not yours. I am not welcome in the writing community because of my innovative ideas. The only club I am a member of is the side of right. I am not a bible pusher, nor am I a demon. I try to be original and never jump on any band wagon, I just refuse to do that. As I said before, I have loads of books out there somewhere, Amazon, Target, Ebookmall.com, lulu.com WB and have written over a million stories for many publications in the last forty some odd years. I punch up comedy for a few comedians but don’t really make a practice of that these days for one simple reason, they don’t tell others about me to keep me working for them. My only job these days, is writing books although an offer my way wont be out of the question, (hint, hint) I am not flawless, we all learn from out mistakes and for me, I am still learning. My brightest moment was when something I had written was on MSNBC.com but pulled that same day due to my opinions about a certain talk show hoe, oops, host, which will remain nameless but I can say her name rhymes with Okra Wind Free. I auditioned to be on a show called Fridays, and SNL but was turned down years ago. I told a friend of mine that I am turned down by the best, thats how I do business. I was a ghost writer on about thirty five books, some very popular, some not. I have written for loads of television, (punch up work)
So, thats about it, I am open for questions so feel free to e-mail me anytime. ( email@example.com ) I do accept bribes, I come cheap so any offer will be taken under close consideration. My best advise to anyone reading this is advise that was given to me by Lenny Bruce when I was ten years old, Lenny Bruce told me, “Never be a name dropper.”
People seem to dislike me. They hate me with a passion but I don’t mind because of things I say and do. I know who I am, I say what I feel, I don’t stalk behind ones back. I think people are afraid to face the truths in their daily lives. I show them what is real, sometimes using humor and other times being serious. To be honest, my books do not sell, I am not a rich man, and I am always looking for new things to do. I do what I want when I want to and this and this alone is why people are afraid to read my work.
My greatest moment in life wasn’t anything I have written, but getting to meet some of the people I have admired through life. Harry Nilsson, who I got to be friends with before his death, The Firesign Theatre members, who I still stay in contact with through e-mail, Al Lewis, sitting with him at his resturant in the Village in NY, Soupy Sales, who said, show me a guy that is crazy as a loon and I’ll show you Caterino, not to mention others, so I wont. I had a blessed life.
To me, the difference of opinion is what makes us great. I can see things in the past, present, and future as you will soon see in my blogs here which will scare the pants off you. You don’t have to agree with my thoughts but you must admit when I am right. I also love a good debate but when the haters come, and there will be many just laugh at them as I do. They will have nothing to really add except for the name calling. I have for the most part, had many nice people comment me on my work as for the others, they just like busting my chops which I don’t mind, hey, I am Italian after all so I can take it. Since my first book, I have sold a few million, my goal so long ago was to sell one. (No one in my family, brothers, sisters, uncles, nephews, never read anything I have written in forty years, they said, “You can’t write.” To be fair,most of my family told me I couldn’t do lots of things I have done.
I am working on another horror thriller called “The Mindling”. it should be out mid summer when you order it, make sure you have a change of underwear.
I just finished THE WHITE HOUSE MAFIA, a political book about present times we are facing. I hope if you decide to read it, that you will learn something about this Country and those who are trying to end it as we know it. It can be found at:
Feel free to visit and see the sample.
Thanks and stay safe.