Hey Ma, I Just Killed Bambi Again

I have never been a fan of hunting. To kill any type of animal in my view is murder especially when they can’t use weapons to defend themselves. I wrote this story and received many death threats so that should say something for the hunter and now I do believe that now, I am the hunted. I don’t eat meat, only beef, chicken, and other meat products manufactured by my local grocer, and like most people that are against killing living things, I am also a self admitted hypocrite because I am like the catholic priests, and as we all know the only meat they can eat is none. After obvious pun, I will get to my beef with hunters; here is the meat of my problem.

Long, long ago men were the hunters of their domain. Women stayed in their caves, tents, and igloos, and did the chores women did back then and as we all know, many carry on those past traditions today. This was routine and they did what they had to do for survival. Hunters hunted for the food, out of necessity, to stay alive. Maybe a bear would last a whole winter-feeding a family of six. The point I am trying to make is simple. They had no supermarkets to buy food for their families, no convenient stores, Burger Kings or Mickey D’s. They had to do what they did for continued existence. They only used hand made weapons from sticks and stones which as we know can break your bones.

Now we have the so-called modern day “hunter” and he is armed with his high-powered rifles and automatic weapons and even a cross bow. He goes out and shoots the mighty bunny the awesomely scary deer or Bambi, as I like to call them or even a fowl or two. I would understand if it was necessity but it is not. They do it in the name of sport. “Hey honey, I am going to bring you home some sparrow and maybe if we are lucky I will finally get to bag Bambi.” Sparrow I have heard tastes like chicken. Yeah, sure, put ten or twelve sparrow on a stick and hold them over a nice open fire makes for good eats. I have always said, “If it all tastes like chicken, why not just eat chicken?

A sport in my mind is men and woman competing to be the best. Sport to me is playing a game with others, and coming out a head of the rest. Sport to me is not sneaking up on a bunny rabbit that pops his head out of a hole to see what it can eat that day and blowing its head off with a snipers rifle. Deer cannot shoot back but if they could I am willing to bet there would be less hunters hunting them. These animals have no guns to use to defend themselves. It would be like the New York Jets playing a high school football team. Well that is a bad example but you get what I mean. If you must hunt then lets even up the playing field. Why can’t you hunt a bear armed with nothing but what the bear has, brute strength and nothing else? This seems fair but you would never find a hunter doing that. He would call that unfair. Let’s get a hunter to use intellect which is redundant now isn’t it? That is brains in case you are a hunter and are reading this. How about going one on one with a bobcat or mountain lion?

I heard a conversation with two men talking about hunting bears. One man explained how he shot the bear right in the heart with a scoped rifle. This tells me he was far away from the bear and shot the bear when the bear was unaware the hunter was even there. Hunter? I do not get this whole concept of the sport. If you must eat meat there is plenty in the stores. There is no need to kill Bugs Bunny or Bambi or yes even Yogi and Boo Boo. If I can keep it as a pet, I just aint eating it.

One day there was a hunter hiding in the woods. He scoped out his prey. It was a male bear and his family, three cubs and a female bear. The hunter wanted to get a little closer so he wouldn’t miss. He picks up his rifle and by accident he stepped on a twig. It made a noise loud enough to startle the bear. The bear wanted to protect his family so he charged the man. The man tried to run but stumbled and fell. The bear swiped him three times with his huge claws and walked away. He was able to use his cell phone to call for help. The Rangers came to his rescue then hunted the bear down and killed it. The reason was the bear attacked the man. Well isn’t this what sport is all about? You win some or you lose some. Well the man lost so why wasn’t the bear given a metal for winning the event? The reward for the bear is becoming a rug in the mans home. Lovely thought is a dead animal skin on my floor or a dead animal’s head hanging on my wall.

We do this in war but we all hate wars but at least it is fair. One on one is fair but a man with a weapon against a animal without is not in my book. This is only my opinion. I won’t hunt anything that I can call a pet, nor will I eat anything I can call a pet. I am not a vegetarian but I know where the food is. I have no need to go out and murder anything when there are resources available. Some call me a hypocrite and so be it.

We need to regroup and rethink. This is the year 2007 and some of us who think we are men need not prove themselves to others by killing a few birds or Bambi and hang their heads on the wall of out homes. Maybe a big gun is justification for a smaller something else. I am a man and I know it. I don’t have to fight or kill to prove it to anyone. How come we don’t hunt cow or pig because we eat them also.

Give a man a duck and he will eat for a day, teach him to shoot and he will kill for a lifetime. Eloquently put for an old guy from Jersey wouldn’t you say? Some think animals have no rights but I beg to differ. They can’t speak so they need a voice coming to there rescue.

I have written articles before and was asked in about one hundred emails to walk in their shoes before I spoke about hunting. I said in reply that I have written murder mysteries for television does that mean I should kill a man before I do?

I have had this argument for many years now. Yes picking up a package of meat from your grocer is the same as killing the meat yourself. This is what I was told, the rational by these hunter savants. It is not the same thing. The thought of picking up a gun or an arrow and thrusting a bullet or arrow into a living life sickens me. The thrill of the hunt as it was so put to me in one email I just will never under stand. I can’t get excited about killing a dear or even a duck. As I said before if you are stalking a mountain lion and you miss then the feline turns around and maim you it will be killed as a threat to society. Why should this be? I thought hunting should at least be a two way street. I can’t stress this enough but here I go again. Life is life and no one being is any better then another. We are all gods creatures and should remember this fact.

Take a look around you folks. Before man over populated the world it was mostly water and land filled with these animals. Now we push the animal, force them to live on small reserves. Isn’t this what we have done to the Native Americans? Sometimes they wonder off or become overpopulated then we say “Let’s thin the herd”. This is the hunters clever way of saying” Lets kill something today”. You can make your arguments for all the reasons to kill something that has been living here since the dawn of time but I won’t have it. You are killing my friends; oops I guess you are not my friends at this point.

Not to be confused with an obsession I want to clear a few things up here and now. I don’t care what people do. If they eat meat then good for them and if they kill the food they eat then good for them too. I just refuse to have to kill, myself in the name of “experience before you speak”.

I knew a man once. He bragged to me about his grandson, how he hunted wild boar. I listened as he went on to tell me how the pen was a four by four cell. Then the hunter would shoot the caged animal and call it their hunt. This is fair? All’s fair in love and war and the hunt I guess. If you miss the bear trying to protect its young and you miss then you die. We do not see that as fair. Think about how fair this situation is. Just to say you killed Bambi does not make you a man.

We do not eat dog or cat. Other cultures do so why not kill a few dogs and place them in our deep freeze for food. What the hell is the difference? I knew a guy that shot his pet dogs when he got tired of them. He would get a new one and when he tired of that one “BANG”. Maybe it’s just me and maybe I am wrong. I better go out and get me a shot gun with a scope and hunt me some gerbil or ferret. Hey there is a proper way to cook ferret you know. You don’t just bake or fry them. You stick a stick up its rump and then scorch them over an open fire. Maybe a squirrel or even a bat will make for some good eats. Bat tastes like chicken. I would think it tasted like licorice.

Ok so I got myself a gun now what. I am walking in the park stalking my prey. I see a robin that landed on the lake for a drink. I aim carefully and “BANG” I got it right between the eyes. Wow that felt great. Now what I feel the power now. So this is what they meant by the thrill. Yes I feel it now. I see a squirrel “BANG” now a duck “BAM BAM” now another bird. This is great more. Now a dog and two cats BANG BANG POW. Now a child, let’s see if I get the same thrill with a bigger target. There is a kid playing ball “BANG”. Yes I got him and boy I feel the power, the thrill. Hey there’s his dad, bigger target yet. Bang, bang you’re dead. Now how Am I going to get all this meat home? The man is on the hood of my car and the boy is in the trunk. The squirrels, dogs, bats, ferrets and fowl are in my glove compartment. This should last me through the winter but it is not enough for me now. I think I will start hunting bigger game. Hmm, maybe a kid then work my way up to an adult. Oh, hold that thought, I see a snake trying to eat a rat. “BANG”! Snake steaks and Boa burgers anyone? How about a hot doggie, dog stew or for desert chocolate moose made with a real moose or my specialty Bats Parmesan? Let them eat crow. Well I’m not feeling that hungry so Ill just get the salad and count my blessings. Tomorrow it is Kid Creole and Granny Stew.

Hey before I go I will send you a picture of my brand new cat skin rug. It took almost a hundred of these little buggers to make it. I like the way they placed the white Persians in the middle and the calico on the outer edges, and it has a kitten fringe. It is one handsome trophy. On my living room wall I have these trophy heads, a moose, an elk, my mother in law.

Let’s live together and try to understand why we are here, all of us. If you have hunting in your blood, then please, don’t kill for fun, trophy, or to impress, kill for the food unless it is your mother in law, kidding. If you are one that hunts for the food, then go for it. Just don’t get angry when a bear malls you in the woods, it is his home, remember that.

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3 thoughts on “Hey Ma, I Just Killed Bambi Again

  1. Wow. Great post. I come from the same way of thinking as you do. It’s a tough topic to discuss. On one hand you are sticking up for defenseless animals and on the other, you are a hypocrite if you then turn around and eat a burger. I have always felt the way you do about killing for sport. I sometimes tell a spider or bug “sorry” before I kill it.(Okay I can be extreme at times). But it’s a living thing and you are ending it’s existense. I can’t kill something that is alive. I can eat steak and LOVE it but I can’t think about how it got to my plate. Hunters would then probably tell me I am nuts. They look at it as it’s getting killed either way or the population is so huge they need to control it. But like you said, you look at it from the standpoint that hunting is something that was done many many years ago when there was no other way to get your food so that you could live. We have supermarkets for that now. This is the 21st century. I don’t like that hunting is called a “sport”. I never could understand when I would catch a bit of a hunting show and the hunter would be aiming at the deer and comment “look at how beautiful it is” etc. Then proceed to shoot it dead. How can you see a deer just living it’s life, not knowing if it has a family, and just shoot it dead?? Then be proud that you killed it?? I can’t stand the parents that start taking their 5 year olds out hunting. “Yes son, see the pretty deer that God put on this planet? Now aim and shoot!” Nice message. I guess I will never understand how you could murder something and then stand over it with a big smile on your face. We don’t need to hunt to survive anymore. Isn’t there any other sport you can find interest in that doesn’t involve killing a living thing?

  2. It is true, though, that deer populations in particular (I think deer must be a lot like rabbits) need to be thinned at some times and in some places. Otherwise, they starve, or get hit by cars, or get diseases.

    I agree that I don’t like the attitude of some hunters that shooting something with a high-power rifle a mile away makes one a big strong man. It doesn’t take a lot of guts to do anything from a mile away.

    And I agree that if people are messing with bears, the bears should have a right to eat them. My advice, don’t mess with bears.

  3. I am not talking about people that kill dear, and eat the flesh, I wont but many do, so what, there is so much food in America. What happens when the thrill of killing a rabit becomes boring? They move to bigger and better things?

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