The God Faddah Saga (End of Godfaddah)

In this day and age, it is very hard to be the Godfather. With gas prices as high as they are, and the everyday cost of living, he calls a special meeting of the council. The boys arrive one by one and sit at the big round table in the back room.

The godfather walks in and everyone stands as if he is a lady but lets get one thing straight, he is no lady. He is all man, especially when he kisses all his Goomba’s on the mouth. Real men do this for some reason. The room grows quiet, and the Godfather speaks after placing the cotton in his cheeks. “Ok, you know with the high prices of gas, and bullets, we need to cut back, big time. Money is growing scarce and we really need to rethink the whole drive by thingy. I suggest one drive by a week. I mean it aint easy hijacking gasoline trucks these days, since Guido got the big idea to use lighters instead of flashlights to see how much gas was in those trucks, may he rest in peaces. I mean, I can’t even afford the prescription for this itch under my chin any more and calamine is not cutting it anymore. Bullets, have you seen the price of bullets? From now on, when you need to whack someone, do a two fer, one bullet, two guys and when you bury them three to a shallow grave. Last but not least, the pay offs. We can no longer afford to pay off the cops, so just be more careful and be sure not to get pinched. Oh yeah, besides the cops, we no longer pay off, the political officials, the laundry, yes Joey, what is it?” Godfather listens to Joey’s question. “No not the money launderer, the laundry, double up loads from now on and use the cheap detergent. Ok, so no more paying off the cops, the politicians, the laundry, the movie channel for showing my trilogy every freaking weekend, and oh yeah, no more iced cream man. He won’t be coming around. Why? I shot the guy, he was charging me double, he said the gas was making him do it. Well I was getting gas from eating his product. Next order of business is all this gossip. I heard that Pauli was becoming worried for his life. I know I kissed him on the lips the other day, but guys, the kiss on the lips thing doesn’t always have to mean the kiss of death does it? Not at all, I never wanted the man dead; I just wanted to get to know him better. One more thing, Henry, the race track, we bet on Trophies dream every week and he made us a lot of money. He always won when ever he races.” BANG, BANG!!! The Godfather points his finger at Henry and shoots him. That will teach you. When I say put a horses head in the guys bed, I don’t want you to kill the horse that is making us fifty grand a week. Next time just put the whole damn horse in the guy’s bed. We must cut back starting now. The government won’t give us any more food stamps and besides, those damn things taste like cardboard and I am so tired of eating cheese. Geese, meeting over. Someone hit the cassette recorder on the way out, man I love my theme.”

The Godfather walks out of the room. The boys discuss how they can cut back even more. Needles wants to sell the company Limo and start using a cab. Finga’s wants everyone to dig up the remains of Hoffa and sell them on ebay. Jakito Dumas suggests that the boys should put the ad in the paper for Crime victims to come to them so they would not have to travel so often. Jimmy suggests that they all share one Goomada, one lady between them then Pauli reminds him that they are already doing that one.

The godfather returns to his home and packs a bag. He includes a change of clothes, three hundred thousand dollars in cash and a tooth brush. He heads for the docks; he rents a small boat and starts the engine. He opens the case. He smiles at the cash, Ben seems to be smiling back. He heads out about fifteen hundred miles and cuts the engine. He calls the boys on his cell phone. He tells them that he must go out of town for a while and that Sal Manila will be the boss until his return. He tosses the cell phone overboard and hoists the sails. He sits in his captain’s chair and puts his feet up on the console. He looks at the stars, then the darkness of the water. He licks his finger and holds it up. The wind suggests, south. He turns the wheel and sails into the mist until he disappears. Vito Goomba was never heard from again. As for the boys, they were doing ok, sitting, watching cable, playing cards, and working out, waiting, waiting, and more waiting. “Hey boys, I told you, but noooooo, you never believe anything I say.” Needles said as he calls a flush. You see boys, prison isn’t all that bad now is it.” he added.

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2 thoughts on “The God Faddah Saga (End of Godfaddah)

  1. If you want to see a great realistic mob movie in the making check out a movie that is being filmed in NJ relative to the South Boston Irish Mafia, The NJ Mob and the NY Family. http://www.jerseysureexit82.com as they film they are giving little tidbits of the film online! CIAO

  2. I was watching an HBO special a few years back when all of my friends were busted. The feds asked me why I wasn’t their, I told them, fiest their is no such thing as the mafia, and second, just lucky I guess.

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